Row Boat Wednesday, Oct 20 2010

You tried everything
Yes, a thousand times
Experienced enough
Been through enough
But you it was who let everything
Into my heart
And it was you who once again
Awoke my spirit

I parted, you parted

You stir up
Emotions
In a blender
Everything in disarray
But it was you who was always
There for me
It was you who never judged
My true friend

I parted, you parted

You sail on rivers
With an old oar
Leaking badly
You swim to shore
Pushed the waves away
But to no avail
You float on the sea
Sleep on the surface
Light through the fog

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Letter from the Past Sunday, Aug 29 2010

Earlier today i was packing to head back to school tomorrow and I came across a letter from a million years ago that my friend Dior had written and mailed to me. It was one of the nicest things i’ve ever read, it made me feel so happy and halfway through reading it I realised I had a ridiculous smile on my face. I haven’t talked to him in so long, but it reminded me that he is such a genuinely good person and how much I enjoy talking to him and such.

Anyway, I have to head to sleep nowww…but just thought I’d share that so I always remember the moment hahaha…yeah, bye :)

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Nocturnal Nonsense Friday, Aug 27 2010

Last night as I prepared myself for bed around 3am, my eye caught the bright aura of the moon glowing outside of my window. I opened the window and stuck my head into the moist night air to clearly see the moonlight beaming down like a knockoff version of the sun (which it really is, isn’t it??).

The moon was out of view (it was in front of the house and my bedroom faces the back yard), but the shadow of my house was sharp on the lawn and the woods in the distance were washed in light (when they are normally indiscernible at that hour). The atmosphere was reminiscent of I don’t even know what – paintings I’ve seen of nocturnal merrymaking? Daydreams from my childhood? I really don’t know, but it was familiar and reminded me of something I couldn’t quite put my finger on. I could just imagine myself walking in the moonlight and appreciating the silvery glow cast on everything.

I soon became aware of the vast amount of stars above me. They were burning so bright, I hadn’t seen stars with that intensity in such a long time; in fact it had been a few months since I’d even seen stars.

The air was moist and fresh, and the occasional drop of water fell from the eaves above me. After having rained for so many days, the clouds finally broke. I can’t really describe the feeling, but it was almost euphoric as I breathed in the wonderful air. To make it clear, I wasn’t hanging out of my window for hours hahah, I’m only talking about like five minutes, but they were five good minutes.

I was drawn outside, and before I realised it I was sitting in the adirondack chair on my patio looking across the backyard at the bright moonlight raining down. I walked to the centre of the yard for a minute to catch a glimpse of the moon, and it was such a bigass motherfucker, I mean huuuge. I really hadn’t seen a moon that big and bright in quite some time. My mind was going on about how nice it was outside as I returned to the Adirondack chair with my ipod. For ages I just stared up at the heavens while listing to Ravi Shankar jamming on his sitar. It was heavenly….LITERALLY BITCHES.

When I returned to my room, I sat in bed as the sun rose and bathed the sky in wonderful warmth before falling asleep. If it wasn’t obvious enough, given that I’m blogging about it, it was a rather nice experience. I hope to have many more like it.

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One Nation, Under Gods Sunday, Aug 22 2010

My aunt is a religious proselytiser who enjoys infusing politics and religion into some sort of righteous medley. Usually her perceptions of reality entertain such delightful elements as victimisation of the majority, alleged assaults on ‘america’ by vague groups, fear-mongering, dodgy statistics or claims (usually from debunked chain emails) that are easily refuted, championing the constitution whilst simultaneously disregarding its provisions, or some combination thereof.

While she is my aunt and I respect her, she constantly posts facebook statuses about God (and how we have to stop ‘obamacare’, sign petitions to stop obama, obama isn’t american, why the tea party is great, how we have to rise up and “take america back”  (from whom, our fellow americans, the majority that voted Obama in?), why america is not a secular nation, why we should worship god’s glory, and other such babble).

One such status (which is mild in comparison to the norm) is as follows:

“I pledge allegiance to the Flag of the United States of America, and to the Republic for which it stands: one Nation under GOD, indivisible, With Liberty and Justice for all. REPOST IF YOU THINK OUR COUNTRY AND OUR FLAG DESERVE RESPECT! Let’s see how many Americans will repost?“
My response to this mindset, which I encounter routinely and felt the need to reply to, went like this:

Hmm…Well, I certainly believe our country and flag deserve a great deal of respect. I’m not all too keen on flag burning, and I firmly support keeping the Pledge of Allegiance in schools.

However, I personally prefer the original Pledge of Allegiance written in 1892, i.e. the same thing as now, but without “under God” (which was added in 1954).

If the pledge is to be kept in schools, it should be returned to its original form. Its current form is wholly unconstitutional and essentially indoctrinates children from birth that 1) the US government advocates the existence of a god, 2) that belief in a god somehow makes one more American (which is precisely the reason it was added to the pledge in 1954, as a response to the Soviet Union’s rejection of religious dogma and to somehow make being Christian an intrinsically American endeavour, as I’m sure you know).

It’s bad enough that we all know that the god the pledge is referring to (or was meant to refer to when it was added in) is the Christian god. It clearly isn’t referring to Zeus, Krishna, or any of the major non-theistic (e.g. Buddhism) or polytheistic (e.g. Shintoism) religions. (To briefly digress, it is very confusing to understand how belief in the Christian god is considered patriotic. It’s a foreign Middle-Eastern god; why not pick one of the hundreds of Native American gods there are to choose from? lol ;) Just teasing, naturally, but it’s food for thought).

But what is worse is that tens of millions of Americans do not believe in any supreme being, and the government has no right to institutionalize such belief. It would certainly outrage Christians if the government changed the pledge to say “under no god” or to “under gods.” Likewise, when I have children, I don’t want them being told that this is a nation “under god” as that advocates that a god exists, for which there is no proof, and I don’t want my children being taught to believe in things without evidence.

Saying “under God” doesn’t offend or outrage me personally, but I believe that in principal it is wrong to have that in our nation’s pledge. As a conservative, I believe the original pledge should be reinstated to conserve our nation’s heritage of Separation of Church and State.

But that’s just what I feel. I’m curious to know what your opinions are regarding the constitutionality of having that in the pledge as I haven’t really discussed the issue before with someone who supports retaining that specific addendum. (I am obviously just assuming you support keeping those two words in the pledge, given that you have God spelled out in capitals…though pardon me if my assumption is incorrect lol).
—-
She hasn’t responded, I don’t know if it’s out of religious indignation or due to an inability to adequately rebut reality. Who cares though, if she feels the need to push her opinions incessantly on FB and clog my news feed with utter rubbish, surely I am entitled to give a (hopefully) rational, polite response lawlll.

In other news, I am dismayed that the new school year has so swiftly descended upon me! :(

Anyway, that’s all for today, peace out girlscout. :)

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Is that Sarah Palin!?!? Wednesday, Aug 4 2010

Today was lovely! :) While I’m exhausted now, I woke up feeling rather fine (if I do say so myself), got ready, and left for my friend Nikita’s house around 2 for a teaparty we had been planning. Lmao, yes, a tea party. Anyway, she is hilarious and so is her mother. Her mother apparently threw away the teapot we were going to use because it didn’t match the house hahaha….Good times. Luckily she had an asian tea set from Taiwan which we used, and I was able to enjoy some niiiice tea with some cool peepz…Then my friend Biz suggested I go to the movies with them later, and said she’d pick me up at 9….So Nikita drove me home, and on the way home, no joke, I saw a car from ALASKA. Who comes to RI from ALASKA?? Photo Evidence:

My friends and I were obviously yelling “OMG IS THAT SARAH PALIN?” Fortunately, it was not.

So I came home, made a music video (hahaha lameee), as well as videos for my friends Jason and Arjun. Then I discovered that there was no sound. Lovely. So now when I get another chance I have to make them videos again. The one for Arjun was just a quick hi, but the one for Jason was like a huuuge description of the past few days that went on for 5 minutes, soooo the lack of sound annoyed me… :/

Afterwards I made a CD for my friend Nikita, talked to people on Facebook Chat for a while, ate dinner, and then Nikita picked me up at 9ish…she loooved my CD, which obviously made me feel good  hahaha,…So we got to the cinema after stopping at Biz’s house briefly, and ended up watching Charlie St. Cloud.

Sooo…let’s just say it started out reallllly cliché and such, but shortly into it  I was crying soo much. I even knew beforehand that it is based around the death of Charlie’s brother, but OMG, when his little brother died, tears started gushing down my face. It was so sad :( there were 3 or 4 other bits that elicited a similar reaction. It wasn’t the best film ever, but it was good, and made me utterly depressed because it made me think about how devestated I would be if that happened to one of my brothers..

On another note, I noticed today that I have a god-awful farmers tan…I really need to strip more!!

Ok, so that didnt sound exactly the way i intended it to lmao

But goddd, im exhausted….Apologies for the rubbish post, must be off, sleep beckons x

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Le Sigh Wednesday, May 12 2010

Life has been going so well lately, I can’t even describe how much fun life has been and how much i love all my friends and how excited I am for the summer…. However, today I had to clean out my hotmail inbox as it was getting much too full. I went to the very last page and found this email:

file thingy‏
From: Tony Capon (tcapon@hotmail.co.uk)
Sent: Sun 2/04/07 9:08 PM
To: MGB (dukeofcumberland@hotmail.com)
1 attachment hjsplit.zip (297.8 KB)

heeey!!!!

oooooo cool this is my first ever email to you, lol! well it must therefore contain an unforgettable message……………….*watches tumbleweed roll by*

umm, yea lol, ok so here’s that file thingamy attached to the email. :p

Talk to you soon (ooh like in about 10 seconds lol),

Byeeee

Tony

It’s nothing major…but it made me nostalgic all of a sudden and now I’m not extremely happy like I was earlier. School is almost over, I have tons of fun plans with my friends, my Art History exam went great (and I just got an essay back from that class that my professor wrote “Bravo!” all over and gave me an A on), and life was going great…and then I see one tiny thing that pulls me back to a million and a half years ago and reminds me that I don’t even know who that special person is anymore.

Bleeeeh.

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New York Shitty Saturday, May 8 2010

On April 10th I went to NYC…I’ve been meaning to blog about it…so here I go :P

After bashing New York City my entire life, I ended up having an amazing time in the Big Apple. The city was a vast cornucopia of possibilities and surprises at every corner.

The morning naturally started off rather poorly, I had to wake up at 5am after all. My friend Liz called to let me know she was on the bus and had saved me a seat, and I rushed out of the door towards the bus. When I sat down I immediately realised that I’d forgotten to take my memory card out of my computer and insert it back in my camera! Quelle horreur! As a result, I was only able to take 30 pictures during my entire trip! It was torture. I tried to enjoy the bus ride to NYC, but for the first half of the ride all I could think about was how stupid I was for forgetting my memory card! D: However, I did end up enjoying myself on the ride haha.

Upon arriving in NYC (after a lovely 4 hour bus trip haha), our first stop was the Guggenheim. Unfortunately, we only had an hour to view the museum, so I was only able to wind up about halfway through the museum before it was time to go D: Next was lunch. My professor took us to a place called the Europa Café (which was very good). The selection of food was daunting with such a short period of time to order….The chicken fajita looked delicious so I got that even though i am not entirely keen on fajitas. It ended up being a great choice, I gobbled it up in minutes! haha. We walked a short distance down the street, turned the corner, and to my surprise was a large waterfall! it was brilliant! We ate by it and it was absolutely lovely :D

After lunch we began to walk towards the Austrian Cultural Forum. On the way was a huuuge Tartan Day parade. Some people in my group were like “is this some sort of cult?” hahaha…There were hundreds of people marching down the street in kilts and playing bagpipes, and thousands of people watching and waving the St. Andrews Cross (the Scottish Flag). It was amazing! We finally arrived at the Austrian Cultural Forum and the inside of the building was cool, but the artwork was very…strange. One art instalment was comprised of a bunch of empty beer bottles on shelves and another was a very small projection in the corner of a large white room. The projection was of some old guy…pleasing himself. Omg, it was sooo disturbing lmaooo. I wonder what they are trying to say about Austrian culture O_o lol.

After the Austrian Cultural Forum we walked around NYC for a bit before heading to the American Folk Art Museum, which suited my tastes more than the Guggenheim. The architecture of the building was more interesting, and I liked the artwork better too. After a few hours venturing around that museum the subway whisked us to the Brooklyn Bridge. The subway was terribly outdated and run down, nothing like the Underground in London, but it worked at least. Walking across the Brooklyn Bridge was amazing! I was even able to see the Statue of Liberty from it! After crossing the bridge, we arrived at this really nice park outside of City Hall. It was amazing there! The whole atmosphere, the beautiful greenery in the heart of the city, the beautiful colonial building, the flowering trees, and everything else was simply gorgeous. A warm spring breeze swept through the perfect air as the sun beamed through the trees and the birds chirped. The temperature and humidity were perfect, and it was just amazing.

We marched onward and arrived at the WTC site. It was closed off, so we just looked at it for a while before heading to something called the high line. The High Line is an old elevated train that has been turned into a park. It was wonderful, and afterwards our professor left us and allowed us to explore NYC on our own for a few hours. Our group (we had stayed with our class of 11 people until then) broke up and I went with my friends Mariam and Andrea to Times Square, after which we ended up going to 5th avenue to meet up with Mariam’s friend Majda who was shopping there (and seems to be somewhat of a shopping addict!). We met her at H&M, and then headed over to Zara’s across the street so they could do more shopping while we waited for our friend Daniel (who was in a different group) to show up, and for Mariam’s friend Kwame to pick us up.

The store was so ridiculous! (Intentionally) Wrinkled shirts, tiny pieces of fabric passing for ‘clothing’ amongst other things were selling for like $60! Why would anyone bother shopping there? Also, they had bags for sale that had size tags on them like the clothes, they were all sized “Medium,” as if someone needs a certain bag size to fit them. I really don’t understand the world of shopping lmfao.

Anyway, Daniel arrived, and a while later Kwame picked us up. All I can say about him is O.M.G. This guy is in university but he has an apartment right off of First Ave and an expensive Mercedes sports car….and apparently he changes his tires every 3 weeks. Do you want to know why he does this? Because he drives like a lunatic! He was driving like 80mph, possibly a hundred, down 5th Ave and would drive until he was about to hit a car, and then make a sharp turn around that car and continue going just as fast. Majda was in the front seat screaming for her mother, everyone was laughing, and I was secretly holding on to my seat, squished in the back with Mariam, Daniel, and Andrea. It was a heart pounding experience, but soooo so much fun.

Due to the fast mode of transportation, we arrived at our destination on First Ave in record time. It was a small (and when i say small, I mean about the size of my bedroom) Indian restaurant called Dakshin. I ordered some delicious Tandoori Chicken and rice along with a Naan. The Naan was warm and freshly made and tasted insanely good – the best one i’ve ever had! After eating, Kwame flew (probably literally) us down Park Ave on our way to the Seagram building to meet our buses and head back to school. The whole way this song was blasting:

Lmaoooo, i loved every minute haha

It’s rather difficult to describe the car ride…but I think you get the point…It was intense and crazy haha…

So that was my trip to NYC more or less. :D I had a great time and will definitely be going back.

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Living the Good Life Friday, May 7 2010

I wrote the following post on the 27th of April during work, saved it as a draft (hoping to finish it later), and then never got around to finishing it. Now that I have time, i suppose I can finally get around to finishing this haha.

I am sitting in work right now as rain drizzles down the window. The dark clouds lurk ominously in the distance across the green and flowery expanse that reminds me of the fact that it is finally spring. The bitter winter that left me in dire agony is gone, and finally the world is filled with life, joy, and laughter again.

The spring so far has been an amazing and joyous retreat from the pain of winter. I’ve gone to New York City for the first time, I’ve been visiting Providence and spending a lot of time with my friends. After months of worrying about my parents and my relationship, things are finally falling into place. I am free now, I am flying above the clouds and nothing can stop me. My parents are finally back to normal, they went on a date the other night, and my dad are back on very good terms. My brother Brady IMed me the other day telling me how much he missed me and that he learnt how to ride a bike. I am surrounded by people that love and care about me, and have been blessed with an endless array of beautiful experiences. Walks on the beach, winding through the colonial streets of Providence, the fresh beauty as I walk to class in the morning amidst the chirping of birds and sweet smell of the flowers…I finally stand here and find myself in a good place after so much hurt and worry.

I’ve also been enjoying the time spent with my close friends, especially my friends Liz, Meg, Jen, and Amanda. They are just amazing people, all of them, and I was worried that I wouldn’t find good friends like I had in high school when I came to university. As the year draws to a close, I am just grateful that I’ve found such loving and dynamic people. I feel so much love for all of them and they mean so much to me….ok, that sounds pathetic, but whatever fuck it haha

My final project is due on Cinco de Mayo, and I am excited for how it could turn out. I’m apprehensive about the amount of work looming ahead, but I think it will be worth it..hopefully

Life is finally back on track, and I am just pleased that my life is regaining a sense of normalcy after all that malarkey from before.

That’s all. Have a lovely day! :) :) :)

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Friday, May 7 2010

I still think about you. I can’t believe you did that to me.

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Sooner or later it’s over Tuesday, Apr 27 2010

I just don’t want to miss you tonight.

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